


this impossible year

by hakenangst



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 08:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7428364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hakenangst/pseuds/hakenangst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>it’s late at night and hakyeon won’t admit he’s lonely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this impossible year

**Author's Note:**

> more cross-posting.

Hakyeon didn’t make it to his bed that night; he didn’t even take off his shoes, only shrugged off his coat before falling backwards onto the coach, limbs sprawled out. He had a bottle in one of his hands, holding it by the neck, and reached behind himself to put it on the table next to the couch. He dragged his hands down his face, slowly, not releasing his sigh until his fingers fell from his chin. He wasn’t drunk, maybe a little buzzed, but he still knew what he was doing. As he pulled his phone from the pocket of his jeans he realized this meant that he really had no one (and nothing) to blame but himself for what the was about to do (in the morning he could tell everyone it was the alcohol, but he’d still know the truth).

He considered calling, but it was going on one in the morning and he didn’t want to be stuck for hours if things went downhill so he opened a new text instead.

**[00:48]** are you awake?

The reply came a lot sooner than he expected, and for a split second he thought he was imagining that he had heard his phone vibrate.

jaehwan♡  
 **[00:50]** hakyeon, it’s been a year.

hakyeon  
 **[00:50]** it has?

He looked at past messages and saw that it had, in fact, been a year - a year since their last text at least, when Jaehwan told him to give him some space and stop texting him. That didn’t stop Hakyeon from trying to call him or visit him after work.

**[00:51]** you’re right. it has. i’m sorry.  
 **[00:51]** i’ll stop bothering you now.

In a perfect world, the conversation would have ended there and he would have been free to sit in the dark and wallow in his thoughts until he inevitably passed out, and there was such a long break between texts that Hakyeon had thought he was given that luxury, but it wasn’t a perfect world and his phone did eventually go off again.

jaehwan♡  
 **[01:13]** no, it’s all right.  
 **[01:14]** are you okay?

He made the mistake of believing that if he stopped responding entirely he could escape the situation, but the buzz of his phone was persistent.

jaehwan♡  
 **[01:21]** hakyeon?  
 **[01:23] _one missed call: jaehwan♡_**

He cursed himself for sending the damned text in the first place. What had he even wanted to say? He couldn’t remember which probably meant he had nothing to say in the first place. This is what he got for acting on impulse.

hakyeon  
 **[01:24]** i’m fine.

jaehwan♡  
 **[01:25]** are you sure?

hakyeon  
 **[01:25]** i promise.

A car drove past on the street, the fluorescent light slipping in through the crooked blinds and setting a pattern of white lines on the wall for only a moment.

jaehwan♡  
 **[01:27]** were you drinking again?

Hakyeon immediately felt defensive, but the feeling passed only because it was Jaehwan. He wouldn’t even touch alcohol when they were dating, but after they split one of his friends took him out to help him get his mind off of things, and now - apparently a year later - here he was.

hakyeon  
 **[01:29]** not really.

jaehwan♡  
 **[01:30]**  what do you mean not really

He took a picture of the bottle that rested on the small table behind him. He had almost forgotten about it - almost - and it was started to look tempting again.

hakyeon  
 **[01:30]** _Image_  
 **[01:30]** it’s barely even open.

jaehwan♡  
 **[01:32]** okay.

He almost rolled his eyes. There was no one around to see but the action itself would have still been satisfying. Maybe he was just tired but the fact that he only got “okay” in response-

jaehwan♡  
 **[01:34]** it’s late. i’m going to bed.  
 **[01:35]** stay safe.

hakyeon  
 **[01:36]** sleep well.

He knew he should have gone to sleep then, too, but there were plenty of other things he also should have done, such as removing the heart from next to Jaehwan’s name. It had been a year after all, and Jaehwan had moved on (what was his new boyfriend’s name? Wonsik, or something? Taekwoon would know) so why couldn’t he? Sometimes he felt like he was destined to float aimlessly between meaningless partners (some of which also nameless or even faceless in his memory) while everyone else was anchored with both of their feet on the ground.

To put it simply, he felt hollow, like the substance of his being had been removed when Jaehwan left, and he didn’t know how to fix it. There was still a childish part of him that hoped for Jaehwan to return, but the rest of him knew the chances were slim, if not completely implausible.

Maybe when he woke up it will have all been some kind of awful nightmare and Jaehwan would be at his side again, arms wrapped around his waist and pulling him close.


End file.
